Screech was staring down the barrel of Stepanek’s space doo-doo gun late today before rallying back to win in, by far, the tournament’s most exciting match, 6-7, 7-6, 5-7, 7-5, 7-6. One must give Stepanek credit for not pretending to cramp and for impersonating hulk hogan in order to get the rich, geriatric crowd to raise [...]
Archive for August, 2007
Half Shark-Aligator, Half Man
Posted in tennis on August 31, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Lee Would Like To Play
Posted in tennis on August 31, 2007 | 1 Comment »
My great grandma once told me that you can tell a girl is a stallion in bed if she smokes or likes jazz. You can now add to that list women who break their racquet on a PLASTIC FUCKING CHAIR. Vaidasova wrapped her tennis racquet around one of those white, plastic patio chairs after [...]
Day 3, Some More People Played Some More Tennis, Again
Posted in tennis on August 30, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
I woke up today with a foreign substance in my ears. It was the Chinese woman living/fleecing me up above. The cantonese chatter box was 2 clicks from my window screaming about how creamy Venus’ juicy thighs were. I could only presume that day 3 of the U.S. Open had begun, and I knew [...]
Rubies and Goulash From Bradenton, FL.
Posted in tennis on August 29, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
I’ll have to blame my tardiness on a woman. There’s really no way to reason with them. This is a quote from Vinci who spent the entire match trying to hold her shirt down over her squishy third-world belly. That’s a bit harsh, but so was the proverbial female ass waxing (squirting?) that Sharapova [...]
