Some pretty good tennis today, eh? And when I say “good” I mean, “downright awful.” And when I say “pretty” I mean, “fucking.” Thanks to the idiotic programming by the brainless twats over at the “Tennis”Channel” Channel (I guess it is technically a channel, so I’ll drop those quotations) my DVR recorded [...]
Archive for July, 2008
Canadians Take Time Out of Their Busy Syrup Drinking Schedules to Watch Schizophrenic Serb, Ohio Lawmakers Allow RAFA! to Murk Frenchman For Sport
Posted in tennis on July 31, 2008 | 2 Comments »
Tennisburger Smokes Keef, RAFA! Smokes Kiefer, Hard Court Season Creates Wet Spot in Tennisburger’s Tighty Whities
Posted in tennis on July 28, 2008 | 2 Comments »
There’s lots of things I like hard. I like my chubs hard (hard ons)…ummmm…wow I can’t think of anything else I like hard. So just two things, the other being my courts, I like my courts super hard. It’s as American as stupidity, obesity, and apple pie (which i believe originated in England [...]
Tennisburger Cries Like a Silly, Little Bitch
Posted in tennis on July 7, 2008 | 5 Comments »
Yes I have all the symptoms of being a baby. I shit my pants, drooled, threw a tantrum the size of Ted Robinson’s eyes (dude looks like a puffin, I finally figured it out), and in the end, yes, I cried. It was more like an uncontrollable weep. Tears weren’t dripping from my ducts, it [...]
Black on Black Crime
Posted in tennis on July 5, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Okay, so it was the elegant side of black on black crime we’re usually not privy to, but I did feel a crime was being committed by the two sisters having to play each other (in front of a bunch of white people, no less!). From their poorly constructed fox hole, Private Googley [...]
Safin Beats the Shit Out of Entire Anger Management Class, Ancic Plays Human to Federer’s Superhuman
Posted in tennis on July 3, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
The Cream Dream came out in the first set versus Ancic and, well, he creamed him, okay. There, I said it. We’ll tuck that one in and put it to bed. In the second set Ancic looked better, but you know you’re in trouble (and/or playing the greatest tennis player on either side [...]
Federer Breaks Hewitt’s C’mon Machine Over His Knee, Vaidisova Induced Burgerchub Casts Shadow Over Sue Mott’s Teeth, Venus Smokes Crack, Murray Sinks Giant, Yellow Chicklets into Gascargot
Posted in tennis on July 1, 2008 | 1 Comment »
If you actually do come here for tennis updates I feel sorry for you. Its like going to Dirty Dick Roddick for advice on how not to date rape someone. With that said I do apologize for the break in the action. When people say, “I strive for quality over quantity,” what they’re really [...]
