I was jumped once. It was a terribly frightening experience only because I didn’t know how long it would last. It also happened before I could see them. I was about 13. I probably deserved it as I was quite the little pecker back then. One of them sideswiped my face with his [...]
Archive for January, 2009
Blue and Yellow Make an Unwatchable Color or Blue and Yellow Make Bruises
Posted in tennis on January 31, 2009 | 1 Comment »
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof is…Now Open! Tennisburger Covers/Covered Fed v. Rod Live so he Can/Could go to Sleep
Posted in tennis on January 29, 2009 | 5 Comments »
So much build-up for this match! Roofs being opened. Talk of conditioning. How about those posters in the hallway? All they’re missing is one of those 8 ft. x 8 ft. posters of a yellow Lamborghini, or Samantha Fox. Is there a coin toss for who gets to call the coin toss? Marry [...]
GODDAMNIT!: Day 7
Posted in tennis on January 26, 2009 | 2 Comments »
You all are some sick fucks. I get a record number of hits today (2), the day Monfils has to bow out. Well you won’t find me allaying any of your sick desires to see me squirm (as much as I like to squirm). To be honest I can’t believe Monfils took the [...]
Tennisbuger Understands How Bud Collins and Ted Robinson Got Their Googley Eyes
Posted in tennis on January 24, 2009 | 2 Comments »
I’ll give you one guess who this is (hint: it’s not Murray)
Props to Anthony for sending this to me…and, well, you too.
You know how when you’ve got a grilled cheese cut into two triangles and you’re not sure where to bite first, the corner or the middle?
Delicious Yips, Hats, and Fisting: Day 4 (or maybe 5) at National Chair Throwing Day
Posted in tennis on January 23, 2009 | 1 Comment »
When I settle into my bean bag on the back porch of my double-wide with my laptop and my Budlight -Clamato mixture my thoughts are usually very scattered, not unlike someone on that sweet, sweet crack pipe, or a 6 year-old on a bag of Skittles. The recession looms ever nearer, as repo [...]
Cramps!: Day 1&2 at Brrrrfest
Posted in tennis on January 20, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
My apologies for not covering the women’s draw. I found out Sharapova wasn’t in it, so I pretty much scrapped the whole women’s draw. I actually mailed in the whole day and drowned my sorrows in a Pine-Sol, Midori tincture. And seeing how my analysis of the men’s draw was downright queef inducing, [...]
Amidst Shark Attacks, Giant Bugs, Irritating Accents, Ridiculous Slang and Swarms of American-British Hybrids the Aussie Open, Open’s!
Posted in tennis on January 16, 2009 | 3 Comments »
That Betty Ford is one tough bitch, lemme tell ya’! Welcome back, or better yet, welcome me back. I went out for a pack of smokes back in ‘08, but I’m here to claim what’s rightfully mine, and what’s rightfully yours to enjoy, or scratch your head at and wonder, does this guy [...]
