I seriously just tried to figure out how to use this thing/pressword for what seemed like an eternity before realizing that I was just high, but then realizing again that an eternity has passed since I’ve put fingertips to my overpriced Apple product without the sole intent of jangling my white chocolate ding dong and pink snowballs. I must say that what’s brought me back from the abyss is not just a yearning to write long, run-on, redundant sentences, but the amazing Indian Wells action. And with that I must add that Karlovic v. Nadal has just got underway and it appears that Elizabeth Shue is directly behind the Croat’s bent over bung which is indeed exciting if you’re me (impossible) or work for TMZ (likely). In all seriousness some major things have happened in the tennis world as of late that has brought me back, at least enough to write about it for one post, maybe 4, who knows? Children and Nazi’s like lists so for all the Nazi’s out there…:
1. I was able to see Raonic in San Jose and he definitely lived up to his John Mayer like tennis abilities and Federerererish good looks. I may have that backwards but I either way I am pretty fuckin’ crushed out on this kid. One minute every cucumber in town is gushing over how cool he is on the court and the next minute you hear he took a belt to his coach’s backside in South Africa mid-match. As you might guess I love people who are inconsistent.
2. Last night I witnessed the hair of Ryan Harrison. It was amazing.
3. I was also able to see Monfils in San Ho as the ho’s probably don’t like to call it. There is a pretty rad story that goes along with that match as he played a young douche from Stanford and brought “his boyzzz” with him. Monfils had some fun mocking them during the match as I was ready to defend my nappy headed hero to the death. But alas, the story will have to waith. I accidentally hit the ‘h’, but decided it matched my dramatic comeback.
4. Murray lost to Donald “Fucking” Young. Fuckin’ A. I wasn’t able to see the match due to my new job of working more hours in the day than there are in a day, but I did get a big ol’ granddad chuckle when I saw the tennis line/box score/tally in my New England Journal of Tennis Yucks. What I would have liked to have seen more was the nuclear meltdown Young undoubtedly had losing 6-0, 6-4 to Robredbro. Love those inconsistent bros. Can someone please confirm for me that Young did indeed (my new favorite word, your new least favorite word) smash 18 rackets (or racquets if you’re a smug bug) as I dreamed he did last night.
5. The ‘Pove.
5 1/2. There’s a frenchman in the quarters.
6. I’ve missed the one way communication with all three of you who read my site.
And with that I’m back. And with that I must go show my next door neighbor what a real drunk looks like. And with that we’re all back to square one…what a relief.
Happy St. Paddy’s day, amateurs!
