I will get to the women in just a second. But first I have to congratulate Ferrer on not only beating RAFA! (soundly), but for taking the time out to read my last post. Ferrer understood the importance of finishing his meal and he did so quite decisively, 6-7, 6-4, 7-6, 6-2. RAFA! and uncle Tony prepared what looked like a substantial meal, but soon the kitchen was overwhelmed, and Ferrer wolfed down the next three courses. He then shit on Fat Tony’s linen, rubbed his balls on the wait staff, went to the kitchen and kicked someone in checkered pants in the knee-cap, ran outside, saw one of the valet’s smoking out back and proceeded to punch him in the upper jaw and ear area. RAFA! thought about faking an injury but went out like a man. How many times can you watch a tennis player start limping only to see them sprinting up to the net on the very next point before you vomit on your tofurkey sandwich? Luckily he didn’t play the knee card (by the way, can you really save your caps by wrapping some cheesecloth underneath them? It’s like Dianetics for your knees.). The bottom line is Ferrer would not give up, which is a horrible cliche on my part but it is getting late and my porn is getting cold.
Screech slammed the door on Monaco without any help from Zack or Slater, geeking out 7-5, 7-6, 6-7, 6-1.
The ladies fought long and hard over me but in the end Henin and her teeth (seriously, does playing tennis adversely effect your teeth?) embarassed Serena in straight sets 7-6, 6-1. I didn’t think it was really an embarssing match for Serena until she opened her big mouth in the press confrence afterwards stating (as yoosh) that Henin just hit lucky shots and that she, Serena, had a lot of unforced errors. Lucky is like when you’re walking down the street and your foot is coming down and by chance you see some dog doo at the last moment and you do that weird “in-air sideways step” to avoid it, and you say to yourself, phew, that was lucky. When Henin wins nearly 80% of her first serves it’s called skills, not luck. And as for errors, Henin had only 6 fewer than Serena. There are only TWO people on the court, and your ass is one of them, so quit your damn crying (oh, and I did see you crying on the way off the court)! Tennisburger does not like criers, and neither does my kid. To him they’re like the boogeyman or some shit.
Tomorrow V. Williams and Chakvetadze face some giant foreheads tomorrow as Venus takes on Jankovic’s forehead, and the Russian butts heads with Peer.
On the men’s side Federer looks to take Dirty dick Roddick to the clinic.
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